French Optimism, an eternal oxymoron

I recently read an article in an online magazine that inspired me to write another post, or rather a new series of posts, pointing out the differences between the psyche of two great nations, USA and France.

Whether it is through their TV shows, movies or pop culture, we are all aware of the massive force that is American confidence. Sometimes we ask ourselves where is this magic well that fuels their seemingly impenetrable conviction to succeed? It's that cliché thought that you can be anyone and anywhere if you want it badly enough. Simply and cleanly put, it is the American Dream. I don't want to go out and just blatantly promote the American way, but rather portray what I believe to be the universal handicap of the French society.

Let us first start by identifying the problem. Pessimism is a widespread presence in all mundane aspects of French life. When I arrived in France, the first thing that struck me as bizarre was the paradoxal state of the English language. American culture is literally everywhere and the English language is defining modern French colloquial expressions like never before. Hence, one would think that a country welcoming so much English vocabulary in their already opulent and beautiful language would characterize a decent command of today's international language. Think again! The current English level of most citizens is appalling. I am convinced that somebody who has lived in a cave their entire life would not be much worse.

While I employed the above exaggeration for effect, it is not far away from the truth. Let's look at why. The first step to learning and mastering a new language is daily exposure. Without a two way exchange, progress cannot be made. It is often said that the French speak better English when they're drunk. As ridiculous as it may sound, I have often observed it to be true. Is alcohol some magical linguistic potion? No, of course not. It's just a way for the French to escape this ever-growing pessimistic virus that governs them. The number one stumbling block I have noticed with most French people is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of making mistakes without knowing it in a language they barely know. While this is a natural sentiment for anybody learning a new language, the French have mutated this into an inherent DOA attitude towards speaking English. This in addition to the dubbing of all Hollywood media has resulted in total isolation.

It would take a national Herculean effort (or lot's and lot's of alcohol) to encourage citizens to defeat their unreasonable fears of the English language. One would have to develop a positive attitude towards speaking and no longer be afraid of failure. All in all, they should borrow a little confidence from the Americans they all secretly love and admire. Come on you adorable frogs, you can do it...I believe in you!

Like a G6

This all looks familiar. You know that excitement you sometimes get when you watch this week's new episode of your favourite show? Everything seems crisp, funny and exciting. The jokes just seem to hit the spot don't they? Now there are different types of jokes. There are jokes that are funny only fresh, and some that get funnier each time. Some are just stale from the start. Humans work that way too. Some people don't understand that they should try new material. Or if you are going to use old material, use it on a brand new audience. There is nothing worse than to see a show retell the same old joke from a previous season or previous show as if it were original. One would think that the safest thing is to stick to new material each time. How do you know you don't have any returning fans in the audience? You might get away with it once or twice, but eventually, the show gets canceled.

Cruise Control

A fresh new playing surface, that's what the spring has given me. A rejuvenation, a rebirth really. A way of life where positive thinking is served fresh daily and failure is discarded like an old shoe. That's the way I choose to live my life. After all, failure is only nurtured by our own thoughts. I have collected them all, like a dreamcatcher, and watched them vanish into the thin air. It's a total Tetris elimination of all of life's challenges. As the speed increases at which pieces drop, I shift them into their fitted place without any hesitation.

Shoulders straight, eyes up ahead, ready for victory.

Snails, Clams, Crabs, Legs

Bad jokes. Bad, bad, bad...really bad jokes. I would think one would be enough...but two? three? FOUR??? Okay, I realize none of this is making any sense but why the hell would it? Does anything ever make sense any longer? Did it ever? Okay maybe once...but I bet you that it was by accident. In fact, accidents might be the only thing on this planet that still make sense...gibberish or genius? You decide, either way...I don't care. I need a metaphor, a clever little metaphor. I'll be back when I find it.

Green Sails

Since this world has been going nuts making everything green this and green that, I have decided to write this post in purple.

It's been a while since I took my pulse through this blog, I find myself in a position where I have to say goodbye to a place that I clearly did not appreciate enough. I used to think that my only sole purpose in life was to escape and never come back. Yet when that dream came true, I suddenly wanted to wake up and go back to what I knew best. The most painful thing I could have done though was to build a life in multiple places so that I'd always be missing something. Well, that's exactly what I've done. I'm splattered all over this globe and until the day comes when I finally pick myself up, I'll never know where my original bottle is. It can be in Fiji for all I know. For now I just have to accept that I am like a boat ready to set sail at any moment just waiting for the wind to blow in the right direction.

Sails up, the wind is blowing from the West this time!